12 Headlines That Will Make the Bible Go Viral

Have you seen those photo galleries or human interest news stories on Facebook with headlines meant specifically to tempt you to click?

Have you clicked on any of them?

If the answer to either of those questions is “no,” you’re either lying or living in a severe state of denial. As annoying as these headlines can be, I’ve decided that Bible Gateway should capitalize on this trend to update Bible stories to get people to read them.

Why not do a translation with headings written this way? It could be the next big thing!

Why not do a translation with headings written this way? It could be the next big thing!

Here are a few that I think will work well for the viral generation:

These College Students Discovered One Simple Rule For Staying Healthy, Smart, and Handsome

Best Use of Public Nakedness I’ve Ever Seen!

Foreign Spies Escape Country…and a Bloodbath. You’ll Never Guess What They Left Behind!

One Normal Mom Discovers Her Son is A Zombie

The Most Embarrassing Murder of All Time! (We could hardly watch.)

Do Rock Monsters Actually Exist? You Decide!

Scandal! One Politician Turns a Victory Rally Into a Strip Dance (Wait till you hear what his wife had to say!)

Think Church is Boring? Talk to This Guy.

Avoid Snake Poisoning With This One Weird Trick.

You’ll Never Guess How This Father Reacted To His Long-Lost Son! (Verse 20 moved me to tears.)

Beauty Pageant Hottie Finally Speaks Her Mind: Find Out What She *Really* Thinks

One Insane Plan To Save the World You Never Saw Coming!


For more viral-headline entertainment, check out this comic and this video, which inspired this post.


Okay, your turn! 50 imaginary bonus points for anyone who comments with a Bible story in viral-headline form.


  1. Prostitute Rescues Enemy Spies!

    Donkey Speaks for Animal Rights! (No Joke)

    King’s Second-in-Command Shows Mercy to Traitorous Brothers

    Cure Leprosy With This Strange Bath Ritual!

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