Theologian Valentines

A few years ago, I saw some hilarious Valentines based on dictators. And I thought, I should totally do that with famous theologians! (Because, you know, that’s how my brain works.) So here you go!

Also, if you don’t present the Calvin valentine with a bouquet of tulips, you are missing out on a prime pun opportunity. Just sayin’.


Disclaimer: I have the greatest respect for all of these folks from church history and their contribution to the faith. I also think they might have found these amusing.


Any alternate caption ideas or ideas for theologians who aren’t featured?


    1. The “i” in “Tulip” stand for IRRESISTIBLE grace. The other four letters stand for other doctrines in Calvin’s theology. For more info, go to CR Ministries on Facebook.

    2. T = Total Depravity
      U = Unconditional Election
      L = Limited Atonement
      I = Irresistable Grace
      P = Perseversence of the Saints

  1. Saint Athanasius (296–373 AD):

    “My word of love’s
    here spelled for you—
    in carnations.”

    Cf. “On the Incarnation of the Word,” ca 360 AD.


    Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274 AD):

    “My Summa: Thee I Logically Adore.”

    Cf. “Summa Theologica”


    Friederic Schleiermacher:

    Though I’m shyer, I’m no liar.
    ‘Tis thee in faith, ’tis thee I need
    in absolute dependency!

    Cf. “The Christian Faith,” 1821
    “Religion is a feeling of absolute dependency.”


    Karl Barth (1886–1968)

    “I’m dogmatic: I’m your lover!
    All is totally no, no other.”

    Cf. “Church Dogmatics,”
    and the 1930s essay “Nein!” (No!)
    “God is ‘aliter totaliter,'” “wholly other.”

  2. Letty Russell, Emilile Townes, Bev Harrison, and a host of other Feminist/Womanist Liberation Theologians: “Love frees! And love wins!”

  3. Great ¡V I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..

  4. I know I’m late to the party, but this is just too fun.

    Jonathan Edwards: You stir my affections.

    Abraham Kuyper: Every square inch of my heart is yours.

    Anselm: I have a love for you than which nothing greater can be conceived.

    Francis Turretin: Do I love you? We affirm.

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