A few years ago, I saw some hilarious Valentines based on dictators. And I thought, I should totally do that with famous theologians! (Because, you know, that’s how my brain works.) So here you go!
Also, if you don’t present the Calvin valentine with a bouquet of tulips, you are missing out on a prime pun opportunity. Just sayin’.
Disclaimer: I have the greatest respect for all of these folks from church history and their contribution to the faith. I also think they might have found these amusing.
Any alternate caption ideas or ideas for theologians who aren’t featured?
These are the best! I’m going to go way back and write one for the Apostle Paul: “Nothing can make me stop loving you.”
How about Søren Kierkegaard: I choose to love you. Of course, if you do not make some sort of choice, you cannot know whether you really exist … or whether I exist for that matter. And if you do not exist, I have no basis on which to choose to love you; therefore I cannot. Which makes me wonder whether I exist.
Or Clark Pinnock: I love you, and I am absolutely certain that you love me. Beyond any doubt. Of course, you have free will and may surprise me by not loving me in return; in which case I will simply change my plan, love somebody else, and claim that I wanted it this way all along.
John Wesley….When I am near you I find that my heart is strangely warmed by your presence.
Karl Barth would write 14 volumes of valentine, and everyone would hail it as the most influential valentine of the century even though nobody ever reads the whole thing or completely understands it.
(The condensed version, though, is that Jesus is God’s valentine to us.)
Brilliant.
The condensed version in simply, to the point, and the true meaning of Love!
Oh, how I love the Barth comment. Please put that with the others. John Wesley is priceless, too. I need to think of one for Spong and Matthew Fox.
Love this😄😘
Hi Amy! This is brilliant! I shared on my blog.
surely the calvin one should be him holding a tulip, plucking the individual petals and saying ‘he elected me, he elected me not’…
ROTFL!!!
Barton W. Stone: “You are my Polar Star.”
Thomas and Alexander Campbell: “We are essentially, intentionally and constitutionally, ONE.”
Paul Tillich’s girlfriend responding to her valentine: “I’m so sorry. I don’t understand your message!” 🙂
Julian of Norwich: “I love you. You love me. All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
I doubt John Calvin found anything amusing. Ever.
John Calvin had a great sense of humor – King of Snark!
“If no one sees my love for you, does it really exist?” George Berkeley
Only if God sees it while you’re not looking.
I knew that all this “love is a verb” stuff was twaddle. I don’t suppose a very good valentine could be made of “Man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart” though…
Alternative Calvin: my heart I give to you.
Anselm: No greater valentine than you can be thought of.
Kierkegaard: my heart leaps for you!
Origen: I don’t send valentines any more.
Marcion: Carnal love was created by the Old Testament god.
Tertullian: I love you because you are absurd.
Charles Wesley: And can it be that you love me?
St. Augustine: My heart is restless until it rests in you.
My non-theologian Presbyterian husband’s idea for Calvin – “You are destined to be mine, Valentine.”
These are awesome!
Paul Tillich: Please have the courage to be mine!
Bonhoeffer: I’d love you at any cost.
Paul: I don’t want to love you, but the thing I don’t want to do, that is the very thing I do. And if I wanted to love you, I would find I did not love you!
…wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of sin and death.
Thomas Merton: I have nothing to say
John of the Cross: Let me share your dark night
Reblogged this on thinking worship and commented:
Some special Valentines for my readers… enjoy.
Tolkien: I love you, for pity’s sake.
Tillich: “You are the ground of my being.”
This is most certainly true! Martin Luther
Come little children, let us love one another as I
have loved you. Our Lord Jesus Christ .
John Wesley – My heart is strangely warmed for you, Valentine.
Karl Rahner: I might not even know it myself, but I love you. I am your anonymous lover.
Douglas Ottati, contemporary theologian: Proposition #248, in the vast cosmic ecology my love for you remains a mystery.
The series will be incomplete without a John Calvin Valentine featuring his personal motto: “My heart I give to Thee O Lord, promptly and sincerely”
Reblogged this on Kumquat Absurdium and commented:
Just to say: I agree with the disclaimer at the bottom. I have a lot of respect for these guys but this is pretty funny.
Emanuel. I Kant get you out of my mind
There’s a method to my madness over you. Charles Wesley
Martin Buber’s valentine: I love Thou!
are you the Susan Scott who used to be at PSC?
These are GREAT! Thanks for sharing…though C.S. Lewis often said he was NOT a theologian, just a writer 🙂
John Owen:Unto us in this whole Valentines discourse
we must diligently attend; for we are exercised in such a subject as wherein we have no rule, nor guide, nor any thing to give us assistance but pure revelation. And what I have to offer
concerning these things consists upon the matter solely in the explication of those places of Scripture and my heart wherein they are revealed. We must, therefore, consider, — 1. I love you and,
2. will you be my valentine
Swedenborg: My ruling love for you will never die.
Be still, period
Reblogged this on Job Thomas and commented:
I quite enjoyed these theologian Valentine’s Day cards.
I suffer for your love -Moltmann
You are the upmost in my heart -Tillich