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The Best of 2018

It’s the first Monday in the new year, at that means…time for a blog birthday party! It’s still crazy to me that the blog I started in January of 2014 has lasted this long.

5 cake

In 2018, I wrote 39 posts, which is less than any previous year. Before, I’d only give myself a week off if I was deathly ill or it was a major holiday. This year I let myself skip if I was working on another writing project or had a busy weekend or just didn’t have anything worthwhile to say.

Overall, I’m a fan of the change and the freedom to pause…which is also why I’ll be taking the rest of January off. I love exploring my faith through writing, but I also feel like it might be time to step away and spend more time with God without an audience. So I’ll see you in February!

Here are a few of my favorite posts of the year, in no particular order. (So yes, it’s a “Best of”…but according to me, so a little biased.)

What Matters More than Your Problems

Why: The great thing about doing a post reflecting on a great song is that you have most of your content given to you already, and Andrew Peterson’s “Is He Worthy?” is my favorite song of 2018.

Quote: “When you’re repeating back God’s faithfulness with dozens of your brothers and sisters, from all different backgrounds, suffering in a hundred different ways and still singing…you start to be able to feel the things you know in your head.”

Baby Dedications for the Rest of Us

Why: Basically any time I get a chance to talk to my generation, and myself, about how being a part of the church means serving others and not just being served, I’m in. Also, it was through the church that I realized I actually enjoy kids. Who knew?

Quote: “Here’s the thing, though: you don’t get a family—a real, beautiful, stuck-with-each-other sort of family—without sacrifice.”

Chase Your Ordinary Dream: Time Travel Edition

Why: I’m a history nerd.

Do I really need a longer explanation?

Okay, fine, contrasting two pre-Civil-war preachers was fascinating because it shows that not much has changed. You’ll always have your private-jet feel-good-gospel leaders…and the ones who do what’s right, even at great cost and without reward here on earth. Also I just really want to hang out with Leonard Grimes in heaven.

Quote: “Appearances can be deceiving. Faithfulness has a cost. And history sometimes exalts the unworthy and forgets the selfless heroes…but God does not.”

Judas and the Mermaids: the Seduction of Sin

Why: My annual Judas post almost always makes my favorite list, because it’s helpful in shaking up my perspective on important things, especially my own sin. Add an eerie mermaid song, and this is a lesson I’ve returned to a few times throughout the year.

Quote: “We have to start with ‘All sin is seduction, and it leads to death’—even our sin—before we can get to the glorious truth of ‘God’s grace is salvation and it leads to life’—even for our sin.”

Come Quiet

Why: This is a lesson I’ve been kicking around for several years now, so it was fun to finally put it into words and share it. (Slightly ironic, since the whole point is that sometimes we don’t need to have everything spelled out and expressed? Maybe.)

Quote: “And maybe it’s good, sometimes, to remember that our words—that even my many, many words—are ultimately not enough. The best response to the hard times of life is not frequent check-ins with others for reassurance, more logical reasoning, a longer to-do list or a five-year plan…but silence in the presence of a God who is in heaven and in control.”

(If you’re interested in past “Best of” posts for some guidance in exploring the archives, here are: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014.)

 

 

Star Wars Valentines

Happy Valentine’s Day Eve! (That’s a thing, right? Like, where you eat carrot sticks and rice so you can eat too much chocolate the next day?)

It’s become a tradition on the blog to put up a page of homemade Valentines in February. This year’s round is for my sister, a big Star Wars fan. (You’re welcome, kid!)

Do some of these probably already exist out in Internet-land? Yes. Are there about a billion Star Wars valentines being sold every second today to young padawans who have class parties tomorrow? Yes. Did I still really want brooding Anakin on a valentine of my own? Also yes.

I could have gone on for dozens of punny slogans, but here are a few. Put more ideas in the comments…I love reading them! And check out the Theologian, Lord of the Rings, and love-at-first-fight valentines too if you need more.

Okay, friends: here’s your chance. You’ve got three trilogies (and an extended universe) of characters to write valentine mottos for. Go!

Hobbit Birthday Party!

It has already been established that I am basically a hobbit.

Today is my birthday, so I decided I should celebrate my birthday like one, too. Which unfortunately does not include a trip to the Shire, but will involve lots of po-ta-toes and music and laughter and going barefoot.

Birthday

As hobbit tradition goes, the birthday celebrator does the gift-giving. Since you, friends and blog readers, mostly live in all corners of Not-Middle-Earth, I decided to virtually “give” you some amusing or useful things on the Internet.

Feel free to “open” whichever character’s “gift” most corresponds to your personality. Or just whichever one seems interesting.

Also, if you just want more Lord of the Rings, here are a few posts that involve Middle Earth in some way.

Party!
Sauron: Because he is evil…but could use some strategy pointers.

Gollum: Because he is really just misunderstood.

Arwen: Because she is a princess and pretty, but not super practical.

Gandalf: Because he is smarter than you in basically every area and manages to pull it off without you actually hating him.

Legolas: Because he reminds me of somewhat-melancholy music, particularly the cello.

Saruman: Because he is consistent, smart, and kind of a jerk sometimes.

Pippin: Because he thinks you need people of intelligence on this mission…quest…thing.

Eowyn: Because she is an interesting female character struggling with strict social conventions.

Enjoy, and feel free to comment with your own suggestions if you like. In the meantime, I’m going on an adventure!

Lord of the Rings Valentines

Last year, I made a series of valentines based on famous theologians (the comments section of that post is priceless). Afterward, my sister texted me and said: “Those were great…but I didn’t get half of the jokes. Next year, make Lord of the Rings valentines.”

When the twin sister requests something…she gets it.

So, here you go. Enjoy them, print them out, use them as inspiration to watch a certain movie trilogy this Valentine’s Day instead of the latest rom-com, whatever works.

TheLordoftheRingsValentines

With love,

The Monday Heretic.

Any other characters you’d like to suggest? Or some alternate captions for the ones already pictured?

The Blog Post That Isn’t

Have you—yes, you, the person reading this—ever posted something on Facebook just to make others think of you in a certain way? Taken a picture of you looking good or doing something awesome just to impress someone? Said something borderline mean just to be funny, modified your real opinion just to fit in, refused to admit you were wrong just to show that person, that one particular person who is so self-important, that you are just as good as they are?

ME

Or, maybe a better question: has there been a day when you haven’t done one of these things?

It’s been a while for me, even here on this blog. I’d like to say that I always write on it for the right reasons, but most of the time (all of the time?) our motivations are mixed. On my good days, I write on this blog because I want to start good conversations, because I love it, and because I know God has given me the gift of communicating, and I want to use that to his glory.

On my bad days, my fear of a life that goes unwitnessed means that I turn to the Internet with my thoughts and stories and feelings in order to feel validated and secure. I let my good desire to be loved turn into an endless cycle that feeds on the affirmation of others and yet is never quite satisfied. I want you to like what I say, and to like me, and to like me so much that….

That what? That I matter, I guess. That I am doing something great for God. That I can finally feel like I’ve earned your approval, and maybe his too. (more…)

Why I Am Jonah

image

I am sitting at the airport, eating my meal voucher bagel and hoping none of the Bible professors around me realize that I am the reason our flight was canceled.

They are an easygoing crowd, clad in collared shirts and tweed, chatting about the Trinity while waiting in line, joking with the airline employee rescheduling them. But I wouldn’t put it past them to draw lots (or boarding passes) to determine who is responsible for a flight cancellation on a cloudless spring Sunday. I don’t want them to find out that I am Jonah. (Because unlike your typical Delta airlines crowd, they would actually get that reference.)

Not that I’m running from God. I’m pretty sure he’s okay with me going back home after visiting family. Minneapolis is not, in fact, Tarshish, and I was not told to go to Ninevah.

But have you ever been sure that a particular plot twist is intended entirety to teach you a lesson? That you are the one whose particular character flaw is inconveniencing an entire group of people? That if someone could just threw you out of the South Bend airport, the mysteriously disappeared plane will arrive on the runway. (I am not suggesting they wait and throw me out of the plane in flight. Like, what would God do, have me swallowed by an albatross?)

Background: I had a choice between a 2 pm flight and a 7 am flight. And I chose the earlier one, getting up at 3 am Central time so I would make it to church. And I was pretty darn proud of that. Look at me, rearranging my life around God’s people! I am so spiritual and sacrificial! And even though I don’t drink coffee, I won’t fall asleep during the sermon because I am Just. That. Good. I will take detailed notes without the aid of caffeination and not be cranky at all and find some way to casually mention my deliberate flight plans so people know just how committed I am.

And here I sit, reminded by an unexplained flight delay that A. I am a really prideful person and B. I am not the one in control.

It gives me a flashback to that chapel during my sophomore year of college when they announced all of the mission trip teams so everyone could pray for them. I sat there in anticipation. My team’s picture would flash up on the huge screen, and everyone would know that I was giving up my time to serve orphans and stuff. And they would know that I was so spiritual and sacrificial. My hair even looked good in that team picture, and when does that happen? It was, clearly, an act of God, as a thank you for all the awesome things I was going to accomplish for him over spring break. Which everyone would know about soon, once they got to our slide.

As the other teams appeared on the screen, one by one, I recognized how completely misguided and self-centered in that was. And I prayed, “God, help me to see you instead of myself.”

Then our team’s slide appeared on the screen…with a big black box in place of the picture. We were all completely anonymous. No one knew about me or my sacrifice. No admired me or praised me. No one saw me at all. And that’s just the way it should be.

The tech team never did figure out what happened to our team picture, but I know. A reverse miracle, I call it, one of malfunction instead of healing that put me firmly in my place, as a small extra in the story of what God is doing.

They still don’t know what happened to our plane either. The term they’re using is “mix-up.” Most of the Bible profs coming back from their conference are fine with the wait. “It rains on the just and the unjust,” one says, shrugging.

Yes, yes it does. On the plus side, the storm could have been much worse.

Just ask Jonah’s ship-mates. Sorry, fellow passengers. This self-centered prophet needed to learn a lesson…again.

Christmas Carol Parodies

It’s been a while since I’ve written some Christmas carol parodies. Since my freshman year of college, actually. So I’m about due. These have basically no theological significance, so I’m not making it my normal Monday post. But I hope you enjoy them!

Carols Black Friday Carol
To the tune of “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”

I came upon a midnight sale,
The night after Thanksgiving Day.
I tried to say my chatt’ring teeth,
Went “jingle all the way.”
The people waiting in line were tough,
And carefully guarded their place.
All armed with plans and strategies,
And cans of hidden mace.

Then through the doors the crowds all ran,
With grace of a violent stampede.
To be the first to get the deals,
On all the stuff they…“need.”
A harried clerk-elf beat back the line,
While kids ate the fake stuffing snow.
Two moms fought for the last Elsa doll,
To strains of “Let It Go.”

I jumped a toaster avalanche,
And dodged a melee by the shoes,
And found the Tupperware all had gone,
Before I got to choose.
Why do we bother with this each year?
This Hunger-Games-esque shopping spree?
I’ll watch a horror film instead.
To stress myself for free!

(more…)